Romance scams: when someone you've never met in person asks for money

WHAT'S HAPPENING

Someone connects with you on Facebook, a dating site, or in an online group. They're attentive, warm, intelligent, and interested in you specifically.

Over weeks or months, they become a close friend — or more. They are always overseas, always unable to meet in person.

Eventually, there is an emergency. A medical crisis. A business deal gone wrong. A plane ticket they can't afford. They ask for help. And because the relationship feels real — because it is real to you — you want to help.

WHY IT WORKS ON SMART PEOPLE

In 2024, a retired New York attorney lost $740,000 in three months to an online scammer. He was 76 years old, educated, sharp, and experienced. He lost his retirement savings in the same time it takes to plan a vacation.

Romance scams work because loneliness is human, connection is human, and wanting to help someone you care about is human. Scammers spend weeks or months building genuine emotional bonds before they ever ask for anything.

RED FLAGS

• Someone who expresses strong feelings quickly but has never met in person

• Always overseas, always unable to video call with a clear picture, always with an excuse

• Any request for money — for any reason — from someone you haven't met face-to-face

• Photos that seem too polished or too professional (search the image on Google Images)

WHAT TO DO

1. Before sending any money, tell a family member or trusted friend about the relationship.

2. Search the person's photo in Google Images — it may appear on other sites.

3. Never send wire transfers, gift cards, or cryptocurrency to someone you haven't met in person.

SOURCE

FTC Consumer Information | FBI IC3 2024 Annual Report